Into the Mountains

Today we planned on having a family day.  We weren't quite sure what we were going to do, but we headed up into the mountains with a full day to fish, hunt, play, or just lay in a field.   The four of us were in high spirits as we turned off the pavement and onto a forest road.

Even though the road we took was only a few minutes from our house, we quickly entered another land, one where magic seemed entirely possible.  Christian soon fell asleep but Tes didn't take her eyes away from the scenery rolling past her window.  Everywhere we looked were pine trees reaching towards the sky, aspens in full fall splendor, and the promise of wildlife at every turn.  About a half hour into our drive a small herd of elk ran across the road in front of us.   It was clear we had entered heaven.

When Nick stopped the car to run down and shoot a grouse he spotted, Christian woke up.  The kids were excited to see the grouse and both agreed they wanted to eat it for dinner.  We continued our journey until we climbed above the timber line and into a meadow with views in every direction.

Nick ran off with his camera and the kids and I went hunting for a good tree to sit under.  We found one and snacked on goldfish and an apple until nick returned. At lunch time we built a small fire and roasted hotdogs for our mountain feast.   The kids faces reflected the joy I was feeling.  It was perfectly peaceful.

After we had cookies for desert we watched Nick cut down a nearby tree, which was already dead and destined for our fireplace.  We yelled "Timber!" as the tree came crashing down, and the kids looked at their father with admiration.

As we were preparing to leave I walked towards Nick and he wrapped me in an embrace.  He smelled of woodsmoke, sawdust, and home.   Christian was on one side of is in a chair, talking to the falling leaves.   Tessie was dancing in the sunshine, grouse feathers tucked into her braids.  For miles around us the forest stretched in every direction.   I was overwhelmed with all the beauty in my life, but especially in this one, perfect moment.

Crazy in the Kitchen

For a few days Tessie has been wanting to bake cookies. I said we would but it has continued to be put off. Today I forced to put off my list and tell Tes it was cookie baking time. Since Christian was napping, I also decided to make ice cream, finish picking up, and put dinner together at the same time. Make hay while the sun shines, and all that jazz.

The cookie making went pretty smoothly, and aside from eating half the dough, Tes and I did a great job. Christian was still sleeping when the first batch went in the oven so I decided to start on the ice cream. The trouble with this ice cream was the variety. I love salted caramel ice cream, and being on my DIY kick, I thought "how hard can that be?" As it turns out, never having made caramel before, it was pretty hard.

 To to further complicate matters, Christian woke up just as I was at the "continuously stir until all caramel is dissolved" stage, and my caramel was still a big lump on a spoon.  I sent Tessie in to play with her brother, stirred the caramel with one hand, took cookies out of the oven with the other, called "I'll be right there!" to Christian, and greeted Nick as he walked in the door.  He look concerned for a moment, but being rather used to arriving to find me in a crazy state, he simply asked how my day was.  Christian was quickly becoming unsatisfied with his sister-instead-of mom fake out, but luckily my caramel finally dissolved.  I spent the next twenty minutes running from Christian's room to the kitchen.  Stir, bring a snack, stir, help Christian sit up, stir, stir, and stir.  By the time my custard portion of the recipe was complete, so were the cookies and the chicken for dinner.  I mixed the ice cream ingredients together, stuck it in the fridge, and sat down with my kids for a few minutes before I put dinner on the table.

The thing about tonight that stood out from other crazy adventures I get myself into was simple.  I was laughing at myself the whole time.  I was completely happy, and having a great time.  The crazy parts did not, in any way, overshadow the yummy, wonderful parts.  The part when Tessie took twenty minutes to lick the batter off the beater.  The part when I learned how to make caramel.  And definitely the part when my family sat down to dinner with no TV.  My cookies were delicious, the family loved dinner, and I'm about to sit down with a glass of wine and a bowl of salted caramel ice cream.  All in all, I'd have to say my afternoon of crazy in the kitchen turned out to be rather beautiful, as long as you're not looking at my kitchen right now.

The Brink of Insanity

My day started around 3am, when my son started calling me, ever so pitifully, from his room.  I sluggishly forced myself to get out of bed, and stumble down the stairs.  Every once in a while I’m lucky, when I reach Christian’s door he is already asleep.  This was not the case this morning.

When I crept into Christian’s room he was whimpering, but it quickly turned into a full on wail.  I laid down beside him and soothed him until he quieted down.  “It’s time to go to sleep Baby.” I whispered, kissed him, and snuck out of the room.  I crawled back into bed, almost thirty minutes later, and snuggled back under the covers.  I had just fallen into a deep sleep when the sad little voice made it’s way into my consciousness again. 

We repeated this same scenario several more times until it was around 6am and I was on the verge of a mental breakdown.  Instead of being the calming, reassuring, loving presence that mommy is supposed to be, I had moved into mad, grudge holding, I-can’t-believe-you won’t fall asleep mommy.  Even though I was telling myself to calm down, I found that I was speaking through clenched teeth.  Christian had reached an all out frenzy of crying, and I could feel hot tears threatening behind my lids as well.

Just when I thought I had reached my limit, I felt a hand on my shoulder.  I looked up and Nick was standing over me with kind eyes.  “Go back to bed.” he said softly.  I rolled of Christian’s bed without a word and almost ran up the stairs.  I couldn’t even tell if Christian was still crying, as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. 

I woke up slowly to the smell of coffee and the soft voice of my husband.  I haven’t had coffee in bed in so long, I can’t even remember the last time.  The first thing that came out of my mouth was an apology, I’m not really sure what for, but I felt awful for leaving him with a screaming child.  Then I noticed the happy boy sounds drifting up the stairs.  So not only did my husband save me from the brink of insanity, he also got Christian into a great mood, and brought me caffeine.  All I could get out was a quiet “I love you.”

The rest of my morning with Christian was great.  He didn’t seem to hold a grudge that I had wanted to kill him only hours earlier.  It’s moments like these that make me so grateful to have such a supportive partner.  My extra hour of sleep was vital to my existence this morning, and couldn’t have been any more beautiful.

Say Ahh

Today the kids went to the dentist.  Tessie has been once before, but it was Christian’s first time.  Nick’s step-dad is our dentist so, luckily for the kids, going tot he dentist is really just going to see Grandpa.  Christian’s pediatrician wanted his teeth checked a little earlier than usual because of his prematurity, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to allow his mouth to be examined.  The first time Tes got her teeth checked she was very hesitant, and would barely open her mouth, even for Grandpa.

So I was a little unsure how today’s visit was going to go.  Christian was up first.  He sat on my lap in the dentist chair and we tried to prompt him to open his mouth.  He did alright, considering he is two, and if it’s not on his agenda he usually doesn’t want to do it.  After he got his toy for being a big boy, it was Tessie’s turn.  She was definitely the star of the show today. 

Tessie climbed up in the chair all by herself.  The hygienist made the chair go up as high as it could, and Tessie looked cautiously pleased.  “I’m a little afraid.” she said as it raised, but she was smiling and didn’t ask to come down.  When her grandpa came in she listened carefully as he told her about the light and the little mirror he used to look at her teeth.  When asked to, she opened her mouth wide, and let him look at all her teeth.    I was so proud of her.

Tessie was beaming as she was told her teeth were strong and healthy.  She proudly told her Grandpa that she brushed her teeth every morning after breakfast, and every night before bed.  She handed her brother his new toothbrush and we walked to the car together.  I was proud of both kids, but especially of my daughter.  The difference between her first and second visits was huge.  And as silly as it may seem, seeing her laying in the dentist chair saying “Aaaahhhhh...” was a beautiful sight.

Bubbles

One of the quintessential moments of childhood is, of course, the bubble bath.  Bubbles add magic to bath time, and they never go out of style.  Tonight I made the kids a bubble bath and surprised them with it.  Christian “jumped” right in and Tessie said “Oh, it’s my favorite thing!” 

As soon as she got in Tessie proceeded to give herself a bubble makeover, complete with bubble muscles and a bubble beard.  Christian said he wanted a bubble face so his sister happily volunteered to help him.  I laughed as Tessie smeared bubbles all over Christian, who was ecstatic.  Then they both made silly bubble faces at me and splashed contentedly until the last bubble had fizzled out, and they were, at last, ready to be washed.

Bath time is usually one of my favorite parts of the day.  The kids are almost always in a good mood in the bath, even if the rest of the day was a disaster.  Tonight was particularly wonderful.  I love watching the two of them play together.  Their bubble fashion show was incredibly entertaining, and truly beautiful.

Mom Date

For over a week I have been trying to get together with a friend for breakfast, coffee, anything, as long as it was just us and not our kids.  That may sound harsh, but we are both exhausted mommies, and we deserve a break.  Finally this morning, it looked like we were going to get our mom date.  We each dropped our kids off at school and met at a nearby restaurant for breakfast.

For the next hour we both let out a steady stream of stories, worries, and favorite things about our kids.  We finally had a moment without kids, where we didn’t have to clean, fold or put away anything, and still all we talked about were our kids.  We gave each other advice about hard things we were going through, and  bragged about how great our children were.  Hard as I try, I can’t think of a single non-child related topic of conversation.

What really amazes me about my break from my children, the break that revolved entirely around them, is that it really worked.  I left feeling refreshed and ready to go back to my kids.  When I picked my them up from school I was ready for the yelling, screaming, and general no-nap-shenanigans.  My little mom date was a beautiful way to recharge my battery, and one I hope to be repeating soon.

My Future Photographer

It always amazes me how comfortable my children are with technology.  And not just T.V. remotes, I’m talking iPads, iPhones, computer games, and touch screens.  Even my two year old is adept at scrolling through pictures on my phone, and my three year old daughter has long outscored me in Angry Birds.  I often think they must be geniuses to know all this at such young ages, but all my friends report similar brilliance from their children.  I recently saw a post online that read “Someday I will tell my grandchildren that I was born before the internet, and blow their minds.”  It’s so true.

A few days ago Tessie was watching me take a picture on my phone, and she asked if she could take one.  I showed her how to operate the camera, handed it over, and expected to end up with a hundred pictures of nothing.  I was pleasantly surprised.  She was very selective with her subjects, and actually got a few good pictures.

Tonight Tes took it to another level.  Nick showed her how to flip the camera, so it took pictures of her.  Before I knew it, Tessie was asking everyone to say cheese, posing herself, and showing off all her pictures to us.  She walked up to me with my phone, switched from camera to picture viewing mode, and started flipping through all of her shots to show me her favorites.  I must say, I was impressed.  It took me a little longer to master the iPhone camera. 

At one point Tessie was wearing some really silly dress up glasses and happily snapping pictures, mostly of herself.  Nick and I were cracking up.  Christian was still in his high chair, talking to his sister, and very happy.  My future photographer was snapping away, Nick was laying on the couch with Tes at his side, and I was sitting back watching it all unfold.  It was a perfect family moment.  I am definitely going to print out a few of Tessie’s shots.  Maybe I will even start an album of her pictures.  If anything, I’m happy that she captured, if a little fuzzily, our beautiful moment of togetherness.