Unfair

I was in a bit of a funk today.  For no real reason, you know, other than being exhausted and overwhelmed, I was in a perpetual state of feeling blue.  It started this morning, when I sunk into the bad place of dwelling on how hard having two kids under five is.  Not to mention the whole one of them not being able to walk thing.  Just picture me in the kitchen in my bathrobe, my eyes welling up with tears, and Nick looking at me like I was a time bomb.  I managed to pull myself together and sent him off to work with a kiss.

Christian sensed my weakness, and preyed on it all day.  I couldn't engage him in anything this morning, and any attempt was met with yelling and screaming.  I had promised Tes we would go down the street to a big empty parking lot to ride her bike today, and was planning on letting Christian cruise around the wide open space in his walker.  Unfortunately, he thought this was a horrible idea and screamed at me for ten minutes straight.  I had to cut poor Tessie's bike ride short, and load us back into the car.  Of course, as soon as I put him in the car, Christian started screaming to get out and play.  Typical.

Needless to say, by the time I finally got Christian down for a nap, I was exhausted.  I sat down on the couch to cuddle with Tes for a minute, and fell fast asleep.  Tes snuggled with me for a while, and when I woke up she was sitting at her art table, beading a necklace.  I guess it's bad when even your four year old recognizes when you need some space.  Christian woke up in a crummy mood, still.  We continued to battle until I finally managed to get him happy enough for me to sneak into the kitchen to start dinner.  Then Nick got home, and everything changed.

We sat down to eat, and the rotten little boy who had been torturing me all day disappeared.  In his place sat a happy, charming, and simply hilarious little angel.  He ate his food happily, made us laugh, and quoted his favorite movies.  After dinner he requested I turn on Harry Belafonte's "Jump in the Line" and he danced with joy.  My first thought was how unfair all of this was.  Why is it that as soon as Dad gets home, the kids are automatically on better behavior, happy to see him, when they have been rotten as can be to me all day, and generally just better little people?  But as I watched my son dancing and laughing, I couldn't hold on to any anger or ill will.  Maybe that is the most unfair part of all, no matter how they treat me, or how rough my day is, all I see at the end of the day are beautiful babies, who just happen to be mine.