Returning to Myself

Self Portrait, age 17

I had every intention of cleaning my house today. As I was trying muster up some motivation in the kitchen my eye fell on a set of canvases that I had recently purchased. All of a sudden I had absolutely no desire to clean.

I have always thought of myself as an artist. As a young child I painted and drew fantastical imaginings and as a teenager art got me through when nothing else could pull me out of my angsty stupor. Sadly, as an adult I lost my artsy way for some time.

one of my "Tes and Bubbi" signs

Painting today

A couple of years ago I started painting again in the form of signs for children's rooms. My signs appealed to people and I started a small business named Tes and Bubbi after my two babes.  I started to express myself once again, not in dark self portraits as in my teen years, but with hopeful phrases and colorful flowers. I found my niche.

When I started working I put my art on the back shelf. I missed it terribly. I told myself when I returned home that I would make art part of who I was again, now I know it never left. I picked up my paint brush today and returned to myself.

The finished product

When I'm creating, painting, writing, singing, I am truly me. I love mixing colors, creating images, and making something from nothing. I felt like I had returned home to that central part of myself. I created a simple set of images but when they were finished I felt utter satisfaction. With my hands covered in paint I sat back to survey my work and the total joy that settled over me was beautiful.