Mommy Zen

This evening, when I picked the kids up from school, all was going well until I put the kids in the car.  Christian saw this as an opportunity for a freak out.  He started to scream, and arched his back to try and wiggle his way out of his car seat.  I must say, forcing your child into their car seat doesn't exactly make you feel like a warm, nurturing parent.  Once he was in the seat, he continued to wail away, and I made my way around the car to make sure Tessie was buckled in tight.  I ignored the craziness on Christian's side of the car, and got in my own seat to drive us home.

I know enough to know when it is beyond my efforts to calm down a screaming child, and this was definitely one of those times.  Tessie, however, has not learned that lesson.  The poor thing was trying her hardest to get through to her brother.  She was talking to him in the sweetest, calmest voice, telling him that it wasn't nice to scream, and he was hurting her ears.  Although I warned her that he wasn't going to listen, she continued to try, and I saw the exact moment when her feelings fell victim to her brother's relentless screaming.  Then the perfect storm hit.

Both kids were wailing at their highest decibel.  The scene unfolding in my rear view mirror was unbelievable.  In the past, I have been known to handle these situations poorly, and have even joined them in their meltdowns.  Many times.  But not today.  Maybe I have reached a new level of Mommy Zen.  Maybe I have grown into a more mature adult, better able to handle high levels of stress.  Or maybe I have just already been to this rodeo.  Instead of loosing my cool, the first thought that popped into my head, was that I had to document this momentous occasion.  I snapped a picture blindly, holding my phone backwards, and lucked out with the most amazing image of what having kids really looks like.  Don't get me wrong, I am in no way being negative.  Because in that moment, I truly embraced what parenting is all about.  This ridiculous, insane, and horribly high pitched moment, made me love my kids all the more.  When I looked back at their red, weeping faces, all I could see was how beautiful they are.

Or maybe I'm just crazy.